For those of you know know me, you know I love me some summer and specifically bathing suits. It’s been quite an obsession over the last few years. They’re cute, they’re fun. I never really thought anymore of it. It obviously isn’t swimsuit season anymore, summer seems like an all too distant memory, but I decided to share what God’s been laying on my heart anyway over the past four months. Modesty. What does it mean in a world where plummeting necklines, short skirts, and tight clothes are the norm. What does it look like? Why should we care? Does it even really matter?
The answer is yes, it matters more than we think. I’ll explain why I think so...stay tuned :)
I’ve definitely gone through seasons in my life where I have, on more than one occasion, altered my dress or appearance to get attention to satisfy some sort of image I thought I needed to portray in order to fit in or be “attractive.” Same thing with the bikinis, the point in me buying them was to show them off, as much as I tried to justify to myself that it wasn’t. Thankfully, through conviction, prayer, and the Word, the Lord has showed me that there is so much more to life than approval from the opposite sex and the world.
I can’t speak for anyone other than myself and I’m not trying to, that’s totally not the point of the reason I’m sharing this. The reason I have shared and continue to share my story is in hopes that it touches at least one person. If it helps someone avoid the struggles and heart-aches I’ve encountered than it’s all worth it to me.
Alright.Focus.Modesty.
When I used to hear that word I thought the Duggars. Instantly, hard core jean skirts, long hair, the works. I wasn’t interested in that anymore than I’m interested in swimming with sharks. Thankfully and through lots of prayer, God’s taught me that modesty isn’t defined or bound to clothes, but it’s all about honor.
Honoring God. Honoring yourself. Honoring those around you. To honor means to regard with great respect. For me, modesty is respecting the Word of God as the ultimate authority in my life, respecting myself, and choosing to respect those around me.
If you would have asked me six months or a year ago I would have had very different things to say about modesty. I would have said it was outdated. That there’s nothing wrong with wearing what you want to wear. That if other people struggle with temptation because of an outfit that I have on than that’s there problem. I was SO selfish--it literally makes me cringe to think about my attitude and perspective. Thank you Jesus for grace and transformation!
This all started this summer after my up close and personal life changing encounter with my Savior. Everything changed. I went to the beach a few weeks after and I no longer found it necessary to flaunt my body or walk around half-naked even if the world deems it acceptable. (Again, I’m not speaking for anyone else, I’m simply sharing my heart and how the Lord convicted me.) Not only did I not feel it necessary, I had no desire to. I felt more comfortable wearing equally “cute” tankinis that were modest and covered up a respectable amount of my body. The attention that I once “needed” and craved from the word wasn’t important to me anymore, because my self-worth was no longer dictated by people but from God.
I brought all 58 of my bikinis with me to the beach. Each morning when I was getting ready to go out to the beach for the day I would try one on, just like I had every other year past. In years past I never thought anything more of it than yep, this ones cute, let’s go! But this year, every day when I put one of them one, I felt the Holy Spirit asking me quietly, but loud enough to get my attention. Does this honor the Lord? Does wearing this honor who you are as a child of God? Does wearing this honor those around you? No. No. and No was the answer I got every morning.
Let me explain why.
First did it honor the Lord? For me the answer is no. I could not in good conscious of faith step out of my condo wearing it. Colossians 3:17 says,
“And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.”
I couldn’t walk around the beach in good faith representing Christ, wearing a bikini, so I didn’t. Secondly was I honoring myself? Not really. I am so much more than my physical body. But, wearing something skimpy and so skin bearing to me says I’m Heather here’s my body and that’s pretty much it. There is so much more to me that I want people to see. My heart, my personality, my jokes (just kidding.) Lastly, did it honor those around me? The answer is absolutely not. Honor=respect. It’s not just because I vacation with people from my church because in years past I’ve had no issue spending all week in one of my many different bikinis. It’s because quite simply, for me, wearing bikinis doesn’t honor anyone.
I think we all know guys struggle with the temptation of lust more so than women do, so if I honor my friends and I respect those around me why would I want to put them in a situation that would tempt them or potentially cause them to stumble or make it hard for them to keep keep a pure mind and heart? It’s simple, I wouldn’t. As part of the body of Christ and as brothers and sisters we have a duty to protect each other. So for me out of respect for my God, myself, and for those around me I chose not to wear bikinis.
And it’s a choice I’ll continue to make. Not only in terms of swimwear but in clothing in general. Modest doesn’t mean boring, it doesn’t mean long jean skirts from Goodwill, it means respecting yourself and those around you, but more importantly respecting the Lord through the choices you make, clothing included. Being modest is about behavior too. It’s about choosing to honor God, yourself, and others in actions just as much as the clothes you wear.
I have a whole new outlook on clothes, appearance, dress, and my behavior and actions. Where I used to think “it’s the guys problem” and I’m not responsible for their thoughts or actions regardless of the clothes I had on or how I was practically throwing myself at them.
I now believe that while I’m not responsible for their thoughts or actions, as a daughter of the King I want choose honor and respect. I want to honor those around me in my words, in my actions and in my dress. It’s important to me, and I know it’s important to the Lord.
You don’t have to agree with everything I said, or my point of view on modesty, dress, or swimwear. Honestly, a year ago I wouldn’t have agreed with myself, but I would encourage you to talk to the Lord. Seek conviction, ask Him to reveal Scripture to you that can change your world.
1 Timothy 2:9-10 says,
“And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.”
My attractiveness is no longer defined by worldly standards, but my heart for the Lord and the way I treat and honor those around me. Thankful that God is a God of second chances, redemption, love, transformation, and continual grace and forgiveness. I’m not claiming perfection in any area of my life, just real grace from a living God.
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