A taboo word. Pornography.

Pornography. Not a word many of us are comfortable with.  It naturally makes people uncomfortable. The word itself can bring about a feeling of shame and darkness. We don’t talk about it often.  It’s rarely brought up in the walls of the church.  It’s a taboo word, just like sex and homosexuality; it’s one of those touchy issues no one feels too confident addressing.  Pornography is a silent epidemic that seems to be running ramped not only in our world, but also in the church, within our body of believers.

For me, pornography isn’t a temptation.  To me, it’s disgusting, I want no part of it, just absolutely zero interest. But for most guys it’s not that easy.  Let’s just state the obvious here—Guys are wired completely differently than woman.  Guys are physical creations, they are visual, and often times are easily stimulated by physicality. I’m not saying all men look at porn.  I’m not saying all men are tempted to, I’m simply stating that generally speaking men fall prey to the temptation of pornography far more frequently than women. That being said, what are we doing as the body of Christ do to help our brothers (and sisters) who struggle with this sin?

 

       First of all I think we need to wake up to the fact that pornography is a real problem and more people than you realize are in someway affected by it.  Pornography is real; it’s a real problem that creates real bigger problems and effects real men, real women, real families, and real children.  It’s real. Ignoring it won’t make it go away.  1 Peter 5:8 says,

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

The Bible clearly warns us that Satan is on the prowl, we need to be aware of the sin and temptation that are constantly around us so that we can better protect ourselves and others. For the amount of people that struggle with this I don’t think we talk about it nearly enough.  So let’s talk…

Why is pornography a problem?  To some people that answer might be quite evident, others might say it’s not a problem at all, its just “guys being guys.”  I can’t speak for anyone else, I can only speak what I think is truth.  Pornography is a problem in my mind for four main reasons.

1. It’s sin.  Plain and simple.  Scripture clearly states in Matthew 5:8, “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”  So there’s that.  Pretty cut and dry. I have a problem with pornography and think it’s a real issue because it’s sinful.  I’m not perfect, I’m not claiming perfection.  I struggle with sin day in and day out.  I hate sin, in my life and in the lives of others.  So if I ha hate sin, then I hate pornography. That one was easy…

2. It destroys relationships.  Pornography does so much damage to relationships; I don’t even know where to begin. Pornography doesn’t just create problems within the marriage relationship; although I believe the problem it creates there is HUGE.  I tend to think it affects all relationships in that person’s life.  Let’s be real, most people who struggle with pornography are not open and honest about it with those around them, so what do they do?  They lie.  What does lying do?  Destroys relationships.  There is a lot of shame surrounding sexual sin, people often hide it because of what others will think.  That makes sense to me, none of us want other people to know the bad decisions we’ve made or the pieces of ourselves we’ve given away.  So pornography like other sexual sins brings about a great deal of shame it also brings about a great deal of dishonesty.  Lying to yourself.  Lying to others. Justification.  Excuses.  It’s all damaging.  Whether it’s in a friendship, dating relationship, marriage, dishonesty ruins relationships.

3. It objectifies women.  Since I am a believer in Christ I believe we were all made in God’s image.  I think pornography completely strips women of their value that God created them to have.  Women aren’t toys.  Playboy refers to women as “bunnies” or “playmates” reducing them to toys or animals. Women are real people, with a real story, with real emotion. Pornography takes that away.  Guys often wonder why women are SO concerned with how they look, or why them seem insecure with their bodies. HELLO!  The unrealistic expectation that pornography gives men about women feeds the insecurities of women.  Obviously, God doesn’t define beauty by physical appearance He’s interested in the heart, but pornography tells men and women that the beauty of a woman lies solely within her physical appearance.

     Pornography not only creates unrealistic expectations about the physical appearance of women, but I think it has to create unrealistic expectations about sex itself.  What you see in a video clip isn’t real life.  Pornography is acting.  It isn’t real..

     I think porn drastically impacts the physical intimacy between a man and his wife.  Pornography began being researched in 1984 and 1988 by Dolf Zillman and Jennings Bryant.  They discovered that the effects of repeated exposure to standard, non-violent, commonly available pornography includes: increased callousness toward women; distorted perceptions about sexuality; devaluation of the importance of monogamy; decreased satisfaction with partner’s sexual performance, affection, and appearance; doubts about the value of marriage; and decreased desire to have children.

4. My last problem with pornography is participating in any aspect of pornography supports human trafficking.  There’s no ifs, ands or buts, about this one.  Women are being sold, raped, kidnapped, and forced to participate in unspeakable acts because sex sells and people are still buying.

“Many of the individuals who appear in pornography are slaves. They have been trafficked, drugged, manipulated in some way, and are forced to be part of this wicked business.  IF YOU ARE LOOKING AT PORNOGRAPHY, YOU ARE PERPETUATING THE INDUSTRY OF SEX TRAFFICKING.  Then there are the forces of supply and demand, and the way that pornography creates more and more demand for the commercial sex industry. Pornography is like the gateway drug. People get addicted, and then they want something more. Pornography fuels prostitution (heightening the demand for sex), and a higher demand for sex means more lucrative opportunities for pimps, which means more women and children exploited by them for these purposes. So if you’re looking at porn, even if you’re not paying for it, you’re showing the advertisers and producers of pornography and all those involved in the sex business that demand is high, which then motivates them to shame and exploit even more people.”

So there are the main problems that I have pornography. Obviously I could list off many more problems, and go into greater detail, but I think you get my point.  It’s a big problem in our world today.  So now what?

1. Extend grace and pray for those you know are struggling with this sin.  We all sin.  We all have sin we struggle with more than others, that’s no secret.  Be quick to offer grace to those who struggle with pornography-I don’t think it’s an easy fight.  Since sex sells these images are everywhere.  Computer screens, music videos, billboards, restaurants, stores, it’s really a hard thing to escape.  Which leads me to my next point-prayer.  I think we often underestimate the power that prayer has in our lives.  Pray for the people who struggle with this temptation to be completely freed.  Pray that God would remove images that are ingrained in their minds.  Pray that they would be redeemed and feel the power of forgiveness. Pray that they will find godly men or women to hold them accountable.  Pray that God would radically change their hearts. 

2. This ones for the ladies…. As women, I think there’s a real practical way that we can help men in this battle against pornography and lust.  Ladies, let’s be intentional about the way we dress and talk.  I’ve blogged about modesty before, but I really think it’s that important that I’ll share a little bit again. If we love our brothers and Christ, which we do (or we should,) let’s support them and help make this fight for purity a little easier.  Cover up, keep it classy—I’m not saying dress like your grandma, I’m saying be aware of what you’re revealing. I know, guys know, everyone knows, that guys are responsible for their own thoughts, but if we love our brothers the way we ought to we should do everything in our power to help them be victorious in their battle for a pure mind and heart! 

3. Finally. Be intentional.  What does that mean?  Well for me, it’s being real.  It’s time we start talking about the tough stuff.  If we don’t talk about it with fellow believers and encourage one another, it’s never going to get better.  I think healing can begin when we get honest and real with each other.  Ask tough questions.  Hold your friends accountable. Graciously address areas of concern that you see in the lives of people you care about.  Seek advice and help.  Ya’ll we’re called to do this life thing together, let’s start doing it!  Let’s love each other, bear one another’s burdens, and support each other!

This problem won’t be solved overnight.  But I hope the Church has an active role in fighting the ever-raging war against pornography in our world today!