A Friend Loves At All Times

Friendship.  Everyone has friends. Or at least everyone I know does.  Friendships are so special, essential, and beautiful.  I can’t think of a more beautiful design than relationships.  Two people who genuinely care for another, loving each other, edifying one another, and providing encouragement and sound advice.  I mean that’s pretty awesome.  God created us to have relationships with others and to be in a constant and consistent relationship with him.  I seriously could not imagine life without relationships with the people I care about the most.  My two strongest love languages are quality time and words of affirmation, so when I think about it makes sense that friendships are so vitally important to me. 

I could not be more thankful for the group of friends that I have in my life.  God has truly blessed me with a unique and diverse group of people who love, support, and encourage me.  I’m thankful that I’ve been blessed with so many different friends and different types of friendships.  Each one unique and special no one relationship more important than the other. I absolutely love that I have friends that are twenty years older than me, 10 years younger than me, guys, girls, married, single, etc.  Each one is so important and serves such a special purpose in my life.  Each friendship is so different and offers me a unique and different perspective.  

Ever hear people say, “good friends are hard to come by?”  Well I think it’s true.  I think quality friendships are hard to come by, shouldn’t be taken for granted, and should be considered blessings.  I have a lot of “friends,”  but if it really came down to it, I guess they’d be considered more of an acquaintance.  It’s not that I don’t care about them or them about me, but there isn’t a lot of time invested and there’s no real substance to the relationship.  

When I think about true friendship, I think about Christ and the types of relationships He had with those around Him.  I think that’s what God intended us to have with others.  Not surfacy “hey how are you relationships”.  Now I get not everyone is going to be your best friend, and you’re going to go through seasons when you’re closer with some than we others.  That’s natural, that’s normal, that’s healthy, that’s just real life.  But I think it’s important for everyone, especially me, to evaluate what types of friendships I have with others.  

Lately I’ve been asking myself questions that the Lord’s been putting on my heart during my quiet time.  These are just some of the things I’ve been thinking and reflecting on in terms of my friendships...

Is my friendship Christ-centered?

Am I honoring the Lord with my friendships?

Does the way I act when I’m hanging out with my friends give glory to the Lord?

Do I know where my friends are at spiritually?

Do I regularly lift up my friends in prayer?

Do I or would I be willing to be go to a friend if I saw an area of concern in their life?

Am I encouraging to my friends or I am constantly bringing them down, even if it is in jest? 

Do my friends view me as a Christ-like person?

Do my friends see me as a source of support or a source of judgement?

Do I offer sound biblical advice?

Am I short-tempered?

Am I selfish in my friendships?

How can I become a better friend?

How can I become truly invested in my friend’s day-to-day lives?

Lots of questions, and honestly, I don’t have a lot of answers as of now.  I’m definitely working on things to make myself a better friend and to have my friendships be a source of joy and encouragement to others.  I’m human, I fail, I will continue to fail, but it’s a definite work in progress. 

So I turned to the Word.  You might ask what does the Bible say about friendships and relationships?  Well here's what I've got so far, feel free to share, I'd love to hear what other people have to say! :) 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says in the message, 

“It’s better to have a partner than go it alone.
Share the work, share the wealth.
And if one falls down, the other helps,
But if there’s no one to help, tough!

Two in a bed warm each other.
Alone, you shiver all night.

By yourself you’re unprotected.
With a friend you can face the worst.
Can you round up a third?
A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped.”

God makes clear that not only a friendships important, but that two is better than one.  We should be encouraging one another, helping each other when life gets a little bumpy or turns into a raging sea.  Friendships with others require us to be selfless and giving.  

In John chapter 15 verse 13.  It says “No greater love has no one than this, that he would lay his life down for his friends.”

Now, obviously no one wants to die, but I think this is a good test in our friendships.  When I think about my friendships, it definitely makes me think am I willing to sacrifice for my friends. And if I am, what am I willing to sacrifice?  Or who am I willing to sacrifice for? Are their needs greater than my own?  

Another powerful verse I read was Hebrews 10: 24-25.  It says,

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”

How different would our friendships look if we encouraged one another daily and brought each other to a place of love and service for others.  Daily, I pray that God would transform me in to the kind of friend who inspires and fosters a community of love and service for those around me. 

Matthew 18:20 says, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”  

Far too often when I’m hanging out with my friends I forgot or choose to ignore that Christ is ever-present right in that very moment.  How different would hanging out with people look, or conversations be if we were intentional about treating every interaction with someone as if it Christ was physically present in the room.  We’re told that where we gather, He is there.  I continue to pray that the Lord convicts me of behavior and conversation that isn’t glorifying to Him or encouraging to others. 

The last verse is not as "happy,", but no less true or important than the others.  1 Corinthians 15:33 tells us, “Do not be deceived, ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’”

I think it is so important, and I can testify to its importance in my own life, that we choose our friends wisely.  I know we often think we’re too good or too connected to the Lord to ever let another person pull us away.  That attitude and thought process will lead to disappointment and heartache.  Guaranteed. No one is immune to the temptation of sin in this word.  We all fail, we all fall, that’s why it’s important to be in the Word, in relationship with the Lord, and in relationships with other believers who will hold you accountable, and help guide and lead you.  Trust me, it is so much easier to get sucked into bad behavior than it is to pull someone out who has no desire to flee the sin in their lives.  

I’m not saying don’t be friends with people who aren’t believers, or those who struggle.  I think it’s so important to be in prayer for those people and love them.  BUT I think it’s equally important to make sure you have friends in your life who are pouring in to you so you can effectively pour in to others.  

To end on a happier note... 

One of my favorite verses I’ve found when studying friendship and what they should look like is Proverbs 27:17.  It talks about how iron sharpens iron, and we should sharpen one another.  Our friendships should sharpen each other.  Our relationships with one another should be edifying and uplifting.  We should be challenging each other to grow in the Lord and supporting each other when we fail.  God created that and the image of it is so beautiful to me.  

Friendships are beautiful (I know I've said that a lot, but it's so true) and I’m thankful that God has blessed me with so many real, honest, and loving friendships.  my prayer is and continues to be that my friendships will be Christ-centered, glorifying, encouraging, and edifying to those around me.  

if you read all of this next time you see me, let me know you deserve a treat! :)