In my life, I'm painfully, but thankfully learning what it looks like to be "the light." I want to be different, I want to stand apart. I want people to know there is something different about me. I'm not saying that I want others to think of me as "better" than someone else. I just want to live a life that people can't help but notice that there is something radically different about me. I want to radiate grace, love, peace, kindness, forgiveness, and mercy.
Sadly, I fail at this far too often. There's more times than I care to admit where I open my mouth and what comes out is not gracious, or merciful, or loving, or uplifting. Sometimes its far too easy for me to be unloving and unkind to others. There are certain people I'm really good at loving. I'm kind, encouraging, uplighting, forgiving, gracious, etc.
But, Christ didn't love the people who were easy to love. Christ came, lived, died, and rose again for every single person. God extended love, grace, and mercy to everyone through his precious son, Jesus. I'm called to do the same. I need to learn to love those that are hard for me to love. People who frustrate me and disappoint me are no less deserving of a Christ-like love than anyone else. This is an area of my life where I'm praying for constant conviction and strength to overcome this sin I fall in to all too often.
So I recently had finished reading 1st and 2nd Corinthians and I was praying that God would lead me to another book to dig into during my quiet times. I was really praying that God would reveal to me words that my heart really needed to hear. For about a week in a half, I've been reading the first couple chapters of Philippians and I have got to say it's exactly what I needed to hear. Some verses have provided encouragement and others have convicted me of the sin I've asked God to convict me of, so I can rid it from my life.
My constant prayers ever since my relationship with the Lord has gotten back on track is, "Lord please let your love shine through me, in all situations, in all circumstances." When I was reading through Philippians 1 I came upon verses 9-11.
" I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return. May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ—for this will bring much glory and praise to God.
Those verses were the cry of my heart written in the Word of God--that was an awesome feeling. Paul's prayer for the Philippians is the same prayer that I have prayed for myself every day, sometimes multiples times a day. I desperately want my love to flow more and more for others. I want to continue to grow in the Lord--learning more and more about Him and His plan for my life each and every day. I want to be convicted of my sin that separates me from Him. And, I want to bring glory to the Lord through my life and the way I react to every situation day in and day out. I'm still just in awe of how the Lord directs me to exactly where I need to be and what I need to hear.
A couple days after reading that verse, praying over it, and really meditating on what those verses meant in my life and how the Lord wanted to me to live it out, I kept reading. Again, my mind was kind of blown by verse 20. It says,
"For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die."
I want to continue to be bold for Christ in my life. I want to be on fire for the Lord, I want to passionate about what He's passionate about. I want to love how He loves. I want my goals to align with His mission and purpose for my life. I don't ever want my passion for the Lord to run dry again. I want to be courageous in every aspect of the way I live my life.
The verses I read tonight are the ones that prompted me to write and share this mess of feelings, thoughts, and emotions. Philippians 2: 13-15 says,
"For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people."
God is calling me to live pure and blamelessly in a world full of sin and temptation. That's not easy, but verse 13 says He gives me the power and desire to do what's pleasing to the Lord. God has given me everything I need to defeat sin in my life, to become more like Him each day. I continue to pray that God will reveal Himself to me in a very real and powerful way and that my heart will be changed and transformed by the Holy Spirit living and working in me!
Again, thanks for reading this rambling mess, if it doesn't make sense, or if there are typos (as I'm sure there are,) please forgive me, it's been a long Monday. :)
And by the way if you haven't studied Philippians or read it, I can highly recommend it!
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