What a difference a year can make...

I've been thinking a lot lately, one because I'm a girl and by nature we think a lot and two, because it's summer and I have a lot of free time on my hands.  Anyways I've been thinking about how different my life is now from where I was just one short year ago.  It blows my mind how much things, people and circumstances can change in just 12 months.  Looking back over the last year I have certainly made choices that have brought me to where I am today.  It's crazy that one or two seemingly simple choices can change your life.


I often think of the what ifs....and it usually starts with school.  What if I would have stayed at JMU?  What if I would have gone to CNU or Longwood or one of the many other schools that I thought about going to?  What if I never went to Macon?  Where would I be?  Who would I be?  It's interesting to think about, but at times quite frustrating because what if I didn't make the best choice for myself.  What if I let fear stand in the way?


Anyways back to choices.  I am confident now more than ever that little choices you make throughout any given day can alter the course of your life.  I am confident in this because I have experienced this.  Over the past year I've made a series of decisions and choices that have had a pretty profound impact on my life.  Because of the choices I made I lost some pretty important people in my life, but I had to follow my heart.  That seems to get me in trouble sometimes I'm 100% ruled by my heart and my emotions the logical part of me doesn't get a say when it comes to making decisions.  That's one of the things I love most and least about myself because of this "blessing" I have a tendency of getting hurt.


Although this past year has been difficult and at times extremely sad I have no regrets about choices I've made in my life because regrets are stupid.  There's nothing I can do to change the past so I mights as well move forward and learn as much as I can from what I experienced. 


Do I sometimes wish things would have turned out differently? Every day.  But it is what it is and it's not in my control anymore.  I have to trust in my judgment and have faith that I mad the smartest and best decision that I could have made for myself at the time.  Hindsight is always 20/20, you can always see more clearly when you're not wrapped up in intensity of a situation.  It's always easy to look back and say what you could have done differently, but you can't go back.


I guess the point of this rambling mess is that although some choices can be scary and sometimes seem impossible you have to make them.  Don't let anything stand in the way of what you want to do.  Follow your heart, because although this past year has been difficult and as much as I wish I could change multiple outcomes of certain situations I wouldn't change the choices that I made even if I could.  On the flip side though be prepared for the repercussions of choices and decisions you make, because although you might have made the best choice for yourself, others might not see it that way.  You have to be willing to pay the cost for doing what's best for you. 


Life is definitely different than it was 365 days ago, but I seriously wouldn't change a thing.  The past year has been a year of growth, change, and so much happiness I can't even explain.  Even though it sometimes gets me in trouble my advice to anyone when making a choice or decision is to simply follow your heart. 


After re-reading this post it really is a rambling mess, but that's what goes on in my head. Welcome to my life :)